Unlike duffers of the past, Trump chooses to split the fairway
Mr. President, go play golf.
You obviously have been working too hard.
So, give yourself, the country and your Twitter account a break. Go silent for a while. Go Tweetless during the August recess.
And forget frenzied Mar- a-Lago. As painful as it might be, take a page from Barack Obama’s laid- back presidential playbook, or even Bill Clinton’s, and go to Martha’s Vineyard for a week or so.
You can play 18 holes of wonderful seaside golf with some locals in the early morning August mist at Farm Neck at Oak Bluffs. If you look carefully, you can probably still find a few of Obama’s lost golf balls in the deep rough.
You will smirk at that, believing that Obama played golf like he governed — badly and with a lot of mulligans.
And every golfer knows Bill Clinton, the master of the “ kick shot,” used to cheat a lot, as he did off the golf course as well.
Or, more to your liking, you could play at the exclusive Vineyard Golf Club at Edgartown, where it cost $ 350,000 to be initiated as a member. Presidents Obama and Clinton, both men of the people, played there at one time or another. On the arm, of course.
If you like it, you could buy it. But you cannot play meaningful golf alone, which is the way you govern, even if you own the golf club you are playing at. Golfers need partners or foursomes to make the game work.
You need a caddie, too, or fellow golfers, to help you read the course, avoid hazards, and tell you what you did wrong after a bad shot.
And that tweet about telling the Squad to go back to where they came from was a bad shot because, if you look back far enough, we all come from the same place, Africa.
Had you a golfing partner, like Elijah Cummings, he might have suggested that you needed a different club other than the outlandish driver you wielded.
You say your tweets weren’t racist, even though the four members of the Squad and Cummings are black or shades of brown.
Golf is a humbling game. You need to show some humility when you double bogey the first hole after shanking the tee shot.
And that initial tweet was a shank. Your mulligan, where you stepped back and told the four to leave the country if they didn’t like it, was a little better.
Later, after a mellow round of golf you, dressed in your Black Dog T- shirt, could amble down to the Bunch of Grapes bookstore in Vineyard Haven and buy books, like Obama and Clinton used to do.
On second thought, you might ditch the Black Dog T- shirt. Otherwise the Squad, Cummings and the Fake News Media will interpret it as another racial slight.
A president buying books at the Vineyard is always a good look on on television. You could come out of the book story carrying Leon Tolstoy’s War and Peace, even though, like Obama and Clinton, you will only pretend to read it.
But, man, the talking heads at CNN and the mullahs in Iran would go crazy trying to figure out the meaning.
Martha’s Vineyard is a magical place. It is also a place where prominent African Americans as well as regular black families have lived and vacationed for generations.
Once you have gotten into the island soothing, laid- back atmosphere, you could consider bringing the divided country together.
One suggestion is to invite Cummings and all four members of the Squad — Ayanna Pressley, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib -- to dinner at one of the Vineyard’s fine restaurants, like L’etiole or Atria. You could bring a Big Mac.
If they didn’t like it, you could tell them to go back to Woods Hole, or wherever they came from.
But it is doubtful they would accept. They are too angry. They would also call you a racist for not wearing the Black Dog T- shirt.
It would be better if you established the first Vineyard Presidential Summit Open and invited Obama, Clinton and George W. Bush to play a round with you.
These duffers all ran the country, even though they were better golfers than they were presidents. You know you’re better at both.
The Presidential Summit Open might help unify the country.
Then you could declare yourself the winner, as you always do, go back to Twitter and pound out more tweets. “ Fore!”
Email comments to: luke1825@ aol. com